Motivating Students to Revise Through Effective Response
I. Time-Saving Principles
·
Comment on late drafts rather than the final product (or
permit students to rewrite).
·
Make limited comments that direct students toward revisions,
focusing on higher-order concerns.
·
Avoid marking errors (or point out no more than 3 error
patterns).
·
Use a model of a good essay to discuss what constitutes an
A-level paper, & discuss typical problems found in weaker papers.
·
Write & distribute a “class response” that addresses
features of A, B, & C-level papers.
·
When time is limited, use an analytic scale, a scoring
guide, or a criteria sheet instead of making comments.
·
Put minimal comments on finished products that won’t be
revised.
This handout is adapted from John Bean, Engaging Ideas
(San Francisco: Jossey-Bass Publishers, 1996).
Does the draft follow the
assignment?
If the student hasn’t followed the
assignment, tell her to read it over.
Return the draft unmarked and ungraded.
Is there a thesis that addresses an
appropriate problem or question?
Provide comments on thesis and focus.
E.g.—I can’t find a thesis here. What problem or question are you addressing?
—Your thesis gets clear at the end. In the revision, move it into the
introduction.
—Could you give the reader (me!) a preview of your argument and how you’re going to develop it?
If the paper has a thesis, what’s
the quality of the argument?
What are the strengths and
weaknesses of ideas? Notice the logic
of the argument. How is the argument appropriate to the discipline? How complex and developed are ideas. How relevant and sufficient is the use of
evidence? How does the argument address
opposing views?
E.g.—Interesting idea!
—Nice comparison of X to Y here.
—I hadn’t thought of this point. Good!
—Why overlook what H says about this?
—I can’t see how you came to this conclusion; give more
explanation. An example?
—Here, you’re moving from summary to analysis. Do the same in paragraph 3, p. 6 .
—You need to anticipate the opposition here.
—What’s your evidence for this assertion?
Is the draft effectively organized
on the macro level?
Can the draft be outlined? What should be added or eliminated? What should be shifted around? Are there transitions between paragraphs and
sections? How do details relate to
points? How do the title and intro
preview the purpose and structure of the paper?
E.g.—How does this part fit?
—The paragraph does a fine job of recapping and moving on to
your next question!
—This sentence confused me.
Where’s it going?
—Now I know where you got your title. You really led up to
it well.
—What’s the point of this section?
—Your intro made me expect to read about X next, but this section is about Y.
Is the draft organized effectively
on the micro level?
Notice how coherent paragraphs are,
and how they are developed.
E.g. —Why so many short paragraphs?
—This paragraph wanders.
What’s its point?
—You have four important points here. Break into separate paragraphs and develop
each?
—These sentences don’t link to each other as the ones in the
previous paragraph.
—Many details, but no point! Topic sentence?
—Strong example of classification and division!
—Are you implying cause/effect here? Clarify.
—This paragraph at once defines your most important concept
and makes a successful transition to its applications.
The paper itself:
1. Read the
whole paper quickly & check or underline parts that catch your attention.
2. Go through
the draft again. If the essay lacks
focus or a thesis statement and a plan for supporting its development, address
that issue first, and don’t overcomment on paragraphs or sentence structure.
3. Whenever
possible, identify strong points & praise them.
4. Praise good
titles, subheadings, thesis statements, transitions, and so forth.
5. Use
marginal comments to indicate where organization becomes confusing.
6. Note
sentence-level problems that cause genuine unclarity with marginal comments,
e.g. “tangled sentence,” or “This passage is garbled.”
7. Identify
inappropriate or inaccurate use of key words, and compliment where the writer
shows good command of terms or concepts.
8.
Resist the urge to circle every stylistic problem,
misspelling or punctuation error.
The end comment:
Provide a comment at the end of the paper that follows this
formula: strengths—major problems—recommendations.
E.g. Fine draft, Sandy.
Your problem and thesis are not developed yet, but you present some very
interesting ideas. I especially liked the section on innovative treatments. You lost me in a number of places,
however. For the next draft:
—Rewrite the introduction so you more clearly identify the
problem you’re discussing.
—Work on organization.
I eventually found your thesis, but many of your paragraphs aren’t clearly
linked to it. As I noted in margins,
you need to develop some of your ideas.
—Rethink your summary of Kane’s article. I think you misread her argument, especially
in paragraph 2, p. 3.
Style involves rhetorical choices—
matters of effectiveness and grace rather than right or wrong. E.g. wordiness, choppiness,
excessive use of passive voice, expletives (It is… There are…), ambiguous pronoun reference (This proves
that…). Identify 2 or 3 instances of
stylistic choices that bother you, and ask for revisions.
E.g. Ching, on p. 2 paragraph 4,
you say “There are four points I want discuss in relation to this case
study.” Here’s an improvement: “I want
to discuss four causes of prenatal problems.”
Please find other place where you begin a sentence with “it is” or
“there are” and revise. Do you also see
how more specific language helps?
Grammar involves errors that are
rule-based. E.g.
correct use of their, there, they’re; it/it’s; spelling; punctuation,
subject/verb agreement, pronoun/antecedent.
Help students find error patterns—maybe even line-edit a paragraph—but
require them to edit thoroughly.
E.g. Stuart, you have many grammatical errors here, but I
see three types that you repeat often: 1. apostrophes with plurals rather than
possessives; 2. “of” instead of “have” with conditional verbs such as “could”
or “would”; 3. incorrect past perfect (e.g. “have went”) instead of (“have
gone”). Make corrections for a better
grade.
Identify no more than 5 to 8 criteria, and attach the criteria sheet to the draft. Indicate “S”= strong, “OK,” “W”= weak, or “NC”= no credit, or assign point values. You can combine this sheet with your end comments:
1.
You do what the assignment asks.
2.
You state a thesis/problem/question and show how you will
organize your discussion.
3.
You use key terms and concepts accurately.
4.
You cite, critique, and document your sources appropriately.
5.
You defend your own ideas and explain how you have arrived
at them.
6.
You address other views, explaining their strengths and
weaknesses.
7.
You provide a convincing conclusion or recommendation.
8. You edit
for style and correct grammar.